Trauma Healing

I’ve spent an enormous amount of time being angry at my perpetrator(s). The most recent one for sure. I’ve been angry, hoping God will reach him and teach him. And just when I feel like I’ve finally got my “vengeance”, he gets off with a slap on the wrist. What’s a person to feel about that?

I finally just had to let go. All this anger I was holding inside was eating me up alive. So, I finally had to find a way to make my own peace out of the situation. This person burned me bad. I still have troubles with relationships, mainly due to him.

But I can’t blame all of my relationship troubles on him. I was dealing with trauma long before he came around. I just didn’t recognize it before. And I think he was the person that opened the floodgates of the past for me. Things that I had trapped inside of me all came out eventually.

Perhaps God feels this person has received his dues. Perhaps what he’s going through is more than I imagined. Only God knows. So with this thought, I’ve moved on.

Trauma comes in so many forms. And people all handle their trauma differently. Some people aren’t affected at all and are able to bounce right back with resilience. Still others, trauma can haunt them for their entire life. They live in it, daily, most times not even aware. Or maybe are aware and just aren’t ready to deal with it. So it keeps getting stuffed. Maybe with alcohol, drugs, food, etc. Until a person can recognize that this trauma is affecting their life they just live on auto pilot, until something big happens to open their eyes. And sometimes it’s God whom opens their eyes. When all friendships and relationships fall apart every time. Even struggling with family. Whatever it is, something usually happens to bring this past garbage to the surface. So now what?

Talk therapy is a good start. Talking to friends or family doesn’t always work, because sometimes people just don’t want to hear the same thing brought up over and over again. That’s why I say talk therapy is a great start. Hey, this person gets paid to listen to the same stuff over and over, until you’ve completely talked it out. Talking about it helps tremendously. And I’m not afraid to admit that I tell all my troubles to my therapist. I can trust her, when I don’t trust anybody else.