Trauma Healing

I struggle a lot from day to day, wondering what my purpose is and why I’m going through the things I’m going through at the same time.

I’ve been offered an apartment. I haven’t been on my own in five (5) years. This is actually a little scary for me, I’ve been protected for so long. Not only that but I’m doing it all alone. Just my family. All of my friends have deserted me because of my “bad attitude” I guess.

No, it’s not a bad attitude. I just see things differently than other people. I call things the way I see them, and people can’t handle that. I don’t care. Well, I do, but I’ve got to just let things go. I am learning a lot about people and myself. I’m learning about clicks. And I’m learning that it doesn’t matter how devoted I am to a job it’s never good enough. For them. I can’t wait to move on.

Some of me is angry. Because I have put forth so much effort. But it’s just a job. I need to remember this. And people are going to do what they’re going to do.

People don’t realize the crap I have over them. And I can’t wait to move on. People hurt me, then blame me for hurting them. It’s a preposterous game play and it’s just old. I’ve had enough of the games. I’m fifty-five (55) years old and I don’t have time to play these foolish games. If people can’t accept me for who I am why don’t they just move on?