Trauma Healing

I’m getting so used to be alone. I mean, I like being around people, but I have this gift, that everybody despises. I can see right through BS. And people don’t like that. I don’t even like it. That’s why I take my medication. It drowns out the truth.

I’ve had a lot of people come and go in my life. They stay just long enough, till I say something that makes them angry, then they leave me. It’s not a big deal, I’m getting used to it. It just goes to show who has matured emotionally and who has not.

But I don’t blame anybody. I know everybody has unresolved trauma they are trying to live through. And I know that their trauma is being taken out on me. It’s okay. I’m sure I’ve done that too. And I’m sure it was never intentional.

What I really get a kick out of is someone will tell me I’m nuts, but if you look at the whole basket we’re all nuts. Some people just admit it and some do not. But it always shows up in their behaviors. I don’t talk much in crowds, but I do observe. I’m starting to realize that I need to just keep things to myself. Or stay alone. I think I’ll pick the later of the two. I’m not good at keeping my mouth shut when I hear something that just doesn’t sound right.

Normally, it’s something bad I’ll hear about somebody, or gossip. I tend to stick up for the little guy. It’s just in my nature. And I may not know all the facts, but I do know what Jesus taught, and that was to show kindness to everybody. So, that’s what I go with. Just because I choose to show kindness doesn’t mean I’m excusing anybody’s behavior. But giving the silent treatment to somebody who is already giving you the silent treatment, I don’t understand this. How does this solve anything?

It’s like the video I displayed in another post, you can’t heal if you’re living in it. And thank the good Lord I am free. It takes being removed from a situation before a person really realizes, “Yeah, that was bad”.

Throughout my life I’ve….”been through things”. A lot of it not quite so good. But like I said in another post, I’ve learned and I’ve grown from it. And it’s making me more… aware(?).