Trauma Healing

Personal Experience Healing from Trauma

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Healing from trauma is a lifetime of work and dedication. Hi, my name is Cindy. I have started this blog to be more like a diary. I share my thoughts and experiences and joys so that I may touch just one heart out there. I won’t claim to know it all, as I am not a doctor. But what this is will be my own experience of trauma and recovery. And maybe a friend whom can share their wisdom as well. We are all walking this same journey in life. But all of our paths are different. I believe in oneness. I believe we are connected. Trauma doesn’t have to be huge to be trauma. Just being born can be a traumatic experience. Let’s talk about this and see where it goes.

Do Everything in Love

1 Corinthians 16:13-14 NIV Quotes Creator

This sounds like a simple verse, but the truth of it is, it’s hard to remember when you’re in amongst the waves, being tossed and thrown among the tide. Do everything in love. That’s a pretty important piece to remember.

I’ve been feeling an awful lot of rejection lately. But it’s not so bad that I’m going to have a meltdown. It’s just a nagging jab on my shoulder. I know why I’m feeling this way, and I also know that there are probably a couple handfuls now of people who dislike me. Kinda reminds me of when I was on meth and thought I was being bullied online by the tarot readers on YouTube.🤔 I’ve always got a lot of haters. And the only thing I can point it to is jealousy. About what I don’t know. But, my mother admitted to being jealous of me at one point in my life. Actually, a couple of times.

It took me eight (8) months in treatment to rid my body of those evil toxins. It took me five (5) years to feel more like myself again. I went to treatment in May 2020 and spent eight (8) months jumping around until I finally graduated an outpatient program. And I don’t plan on going back.

I guess the reason I am bringing this up is because when I got out of treatment I spent close to five (5) years reliving the trauma I endured while on meth for those two (2) years. The people who hurt me and took advantage of me are hard to erase. I didn’t know what was real and what was not for a very long time. I don’t think I’ll actually, fully heal from the abuse, because I still struggle with trusting people. Men more so than women. But I do trust God.

God is rearranging my life. Without a choice in it. He has removed several people from my life and I believe it was intentional. Either because I wasn’t serving him or working on my life’s purpose, or he has somebody/something new in store for me. I was screwing off. Being lazy. Not on guard. Not serving God. Being too worldly.

I need to be the example, not the crowd pleaser. And for that reason, I believe God has put me in the wilderness. To prove that all I need is Him.

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