Trauma Healing

Yes. I’ve been talking on this topic a lot. Either I’m still traumatized from when I was on meth, or these people are actually wishing me ill, all together. Because I believe in that stuff.

I never used to. Until that two (2) year binge on meth. Now, everything and everybody is a constant reminder in some way. I get triggered very easily. Especially in the area of s*x. Every touch, feels like that person. Thank God I am out of that mess. If things would have continued the way they were I was either going to be dead, imprisoned or institutionalized in some way. I thank God every day for the intervention.

I know I saw evil when I was on that stuff. I also saw heaven. Or Jesus in heaven. He told me, “Just hang tight. You will receive yours”.

I sold my soul to the devil back then. When I was on meth. I knew I had done something disastrously wrong. So I prayed to God and the devil to take my soul in place of someone else’s.

But I’ve still been in the battle. I like to say that I did take a vacation sometimes. But for the most part my mind has been very active.

Like, right now. I’m thinking, but the words won’t come out onto paper.

My own mind is a constant battle every day. I think it’s the Aquarius ♒️ in me. I gotta think shit through. And then I gotta think about it some more. Before I finally make a decision.

The sad part about it is, when these people are proven wrong they won’t even admit it. Or acknowledge it. Sounds like the Democratic Party 😂😁

I remember back when I first got clean, I was a wreck for a very long time. Things have slowly gotten better, but there is still some work that needs to be done.

I don’t mind being alone. I do my best healing alone. My best self-care, alone. I’ve got my family and a few close friends that I consider a good support system. I couldn’t be happier. Back when I was on that garbage I had nobody. Everybody abandoned me. Left me to the wolves. I didn’t know or understand what was going on. I experienced some really crazy stuff, a lot too embarrassing to put on paper.