Trauma Healing

I’m not gonna sit here and lie that I am not nervous. Because I am. I don’t know if I’m making the right decisions. Everything is changing all at once. I don’t know what to think of it. Not only that, but I’ve had three (3) job offers now as well. So now I’ve got more decisions. And I don’t want to move, but I think God is forcing me out. All the signs are pointing that way. All I can do is hope and pray that everything turns out as it’s supposed to.

I put my paper down and pick it up as thoughts come to me. Well, I started watching this show on YouTube, and I’ve been watching these episodes for a while. And it’s just so strange how an empath even becomes an empath. According to Jung. But so much of it does make sense.

According to Jung, an empath is an unhealed spirit who is constantly on guard for danger, hence the super power in reading people. Empaths are also people pleasers to avoid conflict. This video explains it quite well. An empath’s sixth sense comes from years of conditioning and growing up in pain. It comes from conditioning the mind to believe you are always in danger. Even though the danger is no longer there.

I don’t know if anybody has noticed this, but an empath often sticks to themselves. People can be draining. I shouldn’t say people, I more so I mean people’s energy. People’s energy can be draining. So an empath often needs personal space and time to recharge. A lot of people don’t understand this necessity for time to recharge. And I’m a person who needs it a lot. Or I don’t function well.

I am not a crowd person either. I don’t need to have an army of friends to feel whole. I already feel whole, just by myself. Which is another thing people don’t understand is healing from trauma is a private matter. It’s not something anybody can help you with. It’s something you must do on your own, with the help of a therapist is always best. But I started my journey without one. Then, after walking in circles I decided I needed help. Once I got my therapist picked out it took some time to get to know each other. And in that time I knew whether that therapist was a good fit for me.

I cannot express enough how important it is to have an individual therapist. I don’t feel that airing your laundry out to friends is very productive or safe. You’re probably not going to get honest feedback from a friend.

It’s important to have friends who lift you up rather than drag you down. Positive people with positive vibes. I know we can’t be happy campers all the time. But we can at least try to be comfortable.

I know a lot of people are against talk therapy, but I strongly feel it’s a very good starting point. For me, I needed a confidant to acknowledge my feelings. Somebody just to tell me You’re not crazy Cindy. You have unresolved trauma. She added a couple more ailments to my already long list of ailments. I was pretty disappointed about that. As well as surprised. So, not only do I have Bipolar Disorder, Chronic Anxiety and PTSD, but she also added Borderline Personality Disorder and Anorexia. Neither of them make any sense to me. So the next time I saw her I gave her my two (2) cents. Oh, and she also changed my PTSD disorder to Complex PTSD.

The complex ptsd does not surprise me at all. I’ve done some reading on it in the past and have wondered if maybe that was more accurate.