Trauma Healing

I’ve been clean from meth for over five (5) years now. I refuse to associate with anyone who does it. I’ve come a long way and I am very, humbly proud of myself. For some reason I feel like one of the lucky ones. That drug is very hard to get off of once you start it. Well, at least it was for me. I thank God for opening my eyes as quick as he did. It took the help of a restraining order to open my eyes.

I think a lot of people lie to me when they say, “Yeah, I don’t do that anymore”. I can see it in their eyes and their facial expressions. And I can tell by the way they respond when I ask, “How long have you been clean?”.

I don’t want people thinking I think I’m better than others just because I got clean from meth. That drug ruins lives. I know people who have been smoking it daily for twelve (12+) years. It’s a hard drug to get off of. Withdrawal symptoms include extreme fatigue for weeks, hunger and extreme anxiety (for me). Every time I would try to quit that crap on my own I couldn’t do it because of the severe anxiety. I finally put myself into treatment for eight (8) months just to get off that crap. Yes, my anxiety was horrible. That’s why I jumped from treatment center to treatment center. I’d make two (2) weeks at one place, freak out about something, then move to a different treatment center. I felt like people were always bullying me. It was constant flashbacks of the things that happened to me when I was on meth.

I did finally graduate an outpatient program. And I have no plans to go back. Now that I know better about drugs and how they affect me I will never try another drug again. That’s a promise I’m keeping. After everything I went through on that meth I have no interest in trying anything new. I was in a drug induced psychosis for longer than a year when I was on that garbage, and I didn’t even know it. I thought people on YouTube were talking to me. My mind was so messed up. And the person I was dating at that time was of no help. He egged on my delusions. He actually did a lot more and none of it was any good.

After treatment I started back into individual therapy. I was able to resume therapy with the therapist I was utilizing at one of the treatment centers I went to. This therapist has been a God send. She has been so supportive and helpful and encouraging.

Just from my own personal experience, I know people hate the word therapy. Sometimes I gripe about it taking up my time. But it’s only an hour a week. And I like to bounce my thoughts off her. She’s extremely helpful.