Trauma Healing

I’m tired of not sleeping. My body does not shut down at night. Not naturally. I normally have to take medication to slow down my brain long enough to fall asleep.

I wake up several times through the night. I don’t know why. This has been going on ever since my stint on meth. It’s like my body responds differently than it used to. I go through periods where I don’t sleep but four (4) hours total.

This evening/morning was one of those nights. I’ve been awake since 3:30am.

I think my diet plays a roll in my sleep patterns. I don’t recall if I mentioned this, but my doctor diagnosed me with anorexia. I don’t agree with that diagnosis . After all my weight certainly doesn’t say I’m anorexic. But she explained to me that it was my eating habits that got me that diagnosis (I fast a lot).

When I wake up it takes me about an hour and a half to fall back to sleep. If I wake up at 3am or later I just stay up. It gives me quiet time before the crowd in the house wakes up.

When I smoked cigarettes I’d be outside on the deck already with a cup of coffee and a cigarette at 4am. But since I’ve quit smoking cigarettes (August 2023) that routine went away. Now, when I wake up early I just stare at my TV. Sometimes just a black screen.

Today I have been awake since 3:30am. My mind has been non-stop with the events going on in the world. I’m still grieving the loss of Charlie Kirk. It’s just a very sad situation and reminds me of words said in the book of Revelation.

I truly believe in reincarnation. And I believe that Charlie Kirk was sent here as a profit that was crucified because of his beliefs. I don’t know any other way to word it. It’s spoken of in the book of Revelation.