Trauma Healing

I’m not going to lie. Today has been a really mixed up day for me. I was supposed to go to group this morning, but I didn’t wake up until 9:00am. It started at 10:00am. I felt so unprepared and so confused I had to cancel it for today.

I have not been feeling right since I woke up at 9am after being awake since 3am. I wanted to post a blog while I was awake, but I was feeling really confused.

I called my doctor this morning and asked her to lower one of my medications. We had talked about this before about two (2) months ago and she never changed it with the pharmacy. It didn’t matter to me immediately, because I still had plenty of 50mg left. Till the past five (5) nights anyway. So I’ve been using the increased dose. I could feel the change in me by day five (5). It wasn’t helping. It was making things worse. So I called my provider and spoke with a nurse. I’m hoping to hear back from her yet today.

The bottom line is I’m going to quit taking that medication if they don’t decrease it. Something people with bipolar always do. I’m tired of feeling like crap because of a medication. And as much as my fears want me to continue taking it, my brain is telling me NO. I did not like the feeling I felt as soon as I woke up this morning. I almost forgot where I even was. So until I hear from my doctor again I’m no longer taking that medication.