Trauma Healing

As much as I struggle with feelings I do believe in kindness.

I reached out to a couple of friends yesterday, but was disappointed to realize I’ve been blocked. People block me when they I don’t give them what they want. They block me because they know it hurts me. But that’s how I know that out of everybody in my life, they’ve all been just fake.

One friend blocked me because she was in love with me and I wouldn’t reciprocate the feeling.

Another one blocked me because I showed empathy to her family. Apparently I’m not supposed to do that.

Another one blocked me because I didn’t want to date a drug dealer.

And yet another one blocked me because I told her the truth about her pathetic husband.

There are probably more, but I feel this is a good start. And I really don’t care.

These people think they are hurting me, when actually they have saved me. II don’t have to worry about unnecessary drama.

It is so obvious that God has a plan for me that does not include any of them. I see new sunsets on the horizon. New people, new friendships. More authentic people. God is totally rearranging my life. And I believe it’s for the better.

What’s really weird, and I’ll just say it. The only way I know how:

God has given me this opportunity to get to know a very good person, that at the time was just a friend. He asked me quite a few times to go somewhere with him; concerts, the movies, dinner, etc. My problem is, in the past I never had time. But it’s so weird how I have time now.

I like this guy. Because through and through, he never wavered from his favoritism to me. He’s seen/heard me at my ugliest. I can feel like I look ugly around him without feeling ugly.

He’s not much of a talker. But to be honest with you, neither am I when I’m face to face with someone.

I just want to say, today I am grateful to my new friend.