Trauma Healing

We don’t know for sure what this person is reading, but we can assume it’s the Holy Bible if we want to. Whatever book it is it’s a treasure.

I believe in the Holy Bible. I also believe in other writings as well. I believe God sends us messengers. We just need to know when and who to listen to.

We are all connected in my eyes. That person you walked by, you could have smiled. And maybe this person could’ve smiled back at you. This could have been the start of something new. But that old liar fear steps in. Next thing you know you’re tongue tied. And you miss your opportunity. That doesn’t mean it will never come around again. It just means you missed this cycle, and it’ll come back around, maybe sooner maybe later.

I believe in the cosmos. I believe the planets have some kind of pull over our bodies, mentally and physically. So, sometimes we’re just not ourselves. Or, lots of times. Because energy is fluid. It doesn’t stick around. We move just as the tide moves.

People might think I’m absolutely nuts talking this way. I don’t know if it’s my mental health or what I’ve been through. The trauma

I know I haven’t healed from it, because I still talk about it. It’s like it was just yesterday. But it was five (5), even seven (7) years ago. Im not nearly so torn up about it as I have been in the past, but it’s definitely still in the back of my mind, festering.

I felt completely ambushed. I had no clue what the stuff was. I’ve only ever drank or smoked pot in my entire life. And I decided to try meth at age 48? I was told it was crank. Well, back in my day crank was different (wasn’t it?). I never tried crank in my teenage years, I’ve just heard the word.

None of it even matters anymore. Life has turned around full circle and it’s time to move on. Yet the struggle is real trying to keep it out of my mind. The trauma I endured during that time. The person I am today is not the same person before meth entered my life. Some of it is for the good, but other parts, not so good. My memory is not very good anymore. I tend to blame it on the trauma.

My life was like a Lifetime movie. And the funny thing is, when I got into my last argument with my ex I told him that he was going to feel like he was in a lifetime movie. It just goes to show my belief now in karma and harm no one. Because things come around full circle. I knew I was under a spell of some sort. I had put this stuff on my blog back at that time. And the whole role reversed on me. Nothing bad happened to him. It all happened to me. Not that I was trying to cause him harm…. Well, actually, I guess I was. I was on meth, and when you partake in meth you do all kinds of strange things. My strange behavior gave me a restraining order by him. And I hold no grudges for that. I was being a complete weirdo, and I’m sure my weirdness was a concern.

That restraining order was my saving grace. I snapped out of whatever meth spell I was under and went and got help. I am grateful to say I am five (5+) years clean from that garbage, yet it still affects my life. Because, like I said, I am no longer the person I was before. But I could be an even better version at the same time.