Trauma Healing

It’s 2am again and I’m blogging.

What’s this complex PTSD about? And how does it differentiate from PTSD? My therapist diagnosed me with it a few months ago, rather than PTSD. I’m not sure how she determined that, other than the fifty (50) questions she asked. To be honest, it doesn’t surprise me. I’ve been doing some reading on it, and watching things about it for a while, wondering if that, was in fact, my true diagnosis.

The funny thing about trauma is it creeps out at any point of your life. And it seems to show during the messiest times.

Things like separation, divorce, moving, relationships, war, drugs, etc. These things are considered traumatic incidents. Or life events PTSD relates to.

Complex PTSD pertains to not just one single event, but ongoing, repeated and prolonged trauma or the same event over and over again for a prolonged period of time in your life.

To put it plainly, PTSD is a single event or series of single events. Whereas Complex PTDS is a prolonged event. It can be compared to a prisoner of war, it can pertain to prolonged abuse and neglect.

I’ve also read or watched a few shows on YouTube on C-PTSD and have learned that actually healing from C-PTSD is very difficult.

I’ve heard that most people with narcissistic personality disorder are sufferers of C-PTSD.

Bottom line, I’ve read a lot of negative things about it. And that it’s not really curable.

So where do we go from here?

I don’t know. I don’t see other people struggle like I struggle. But I’m sure we all struggle during our own hard times. But it explains why I can’t keep a friendship or a relationship anyway.

I shouldn’t say it’s not curable. That in itself already sounds defeating. I’ve just heard this, I don’t know the validity of it. I recommend watching The Crappy Childhood Fairy on YouTube. Her channel pertains to C-PTSD and new habits or tools you can use to become a better version of yourself. She caught my eye one day, so I watched a few of her videos.

And I don’t believe it’s necessarily incurable. I think it gets diagnosed too late in a persons life to be able to make effective lasting changes. I kind of wish I was diagnosed with this a long time ago, when I had the will to fight. Now, I’m so old I just don’t care anymore. I mean, I don’t need to deal with this. Nobody else does.

But ahhhh, I want to learn. So I do care. So here I am.