Trauma Healing

If I could wish upon a star, I wouldn’t look very far. I’d pray for those who’ve gone astray, though they may not know it.

I woke up at 3am this time and I actually accomplished something I didn’t think I’d be able to do. I sorted through all of my mail. I’m a mail hoarder. It’s hard for me to throw mail away. No matter what it is, I usually end up with three (3) years of mail I’m hanging onto for no reason other than I might need it or read it sometime (I actually kinda chuckle when I say that). I don’t understand this need to keep mail around for such a long time, but I’m guilty of it.

I’ve got my first moving load ready to go. When the day comes I’ll be ready. Now that I’ve emptied my tote of mail I can put it to some other good use. There’s still plenty more to pack up. I’m having a hard time taking my alter apart just yet. But it will happen, now that I’ve got this empty tote to use. Probably a last minute take down though. I can’t imagine sleeping at night without it.

Day Two (2): I can’t believe I slept most of the night, which is pretty amazing, since I didn’t take my sleep medication. I woke up at 6am. I think I fell asleep around 10pm.

I’d like to talk about the last person I attempted to “date”. It was hard for me to get attached to him and for several reasons. We dated for nine (9) months. We were hardly ever alone. I could tell right away that he would get over me rather quickly, if we were to fight or part. And he did. And I am very happy for him. But, to be honest, that’s what made it so hard to grow feelings for him. I knew these things about him (intuition). I could say other things, but I’ll just keep the rest to myself.

I’m not sure what brought him to mind. 🤔

I have an important eye appointment this morning. I learned at my last eye appointment that I have a cataract in my right eye. I knew something wasn’t right because my vision was getting really bad. I thought I just needed glasses, but found out otherwise. I find out this morning when they’re going to get rid of it. It affects my job, because part of my job is transporting. But with my vision being so poor I’ve been very shy about driving clients around. That’s why I need to get this taken care of right away. It makes me feel partially useless at work.

I personally cannot wait to get this eye problem resolved. It’s become very noticeable when I’m driving. My vision is distorted and it’s most noticeable when I’m driving or when the sun is out or the glare from headlights at night. I honestly feel like I’m down to one good eye.

My mood is much better this morning than yesterday. I was actually feeling pretty unwell yesterday. I think it was lack of sleep. I had been up since 3am. By afternoon I just wasn’t feeling well. But I think this last nights sleep helped a lot.

I’ve been down in my room sitting in silence since yesterday. Normally I’ve got YouTube meditation music on, but I haven’t had the TV on since the night before last.

Anyway, time to get rolling for the day. I hope everyone has a great day! I know I will.