Trauma Healing

In the book of Mathew Jesus speaks on forgiveness. In his discussion with Peter he says not only should we forgive seven (7) times, but rather, we should forgive seventy-seven (77) times. Which literally means no matter what the circumstance you should forgive. This can be a hard pill to swallow sometimes. Especially when there’s still anger, resentment and bitterness. But forgiveness is an important aspect to healing. And if you can’t forgive then you’re still carrying a burden the other person may not even care or notice you are carrying. So, the only person truly suffering is you.

This verse is also in reference to forgiving your brother or sister in Christ. So, what about the unbelievers? Does this pertain to them as well? I don’t think so. But using this reference makes it easier to forgive just about anybody.

I can think of three people I am having a hard time forgiving. I mean, I have to consciously forgiven them, every day, but my mind still remembers why they need forgiveness in the first place. It’s not my job to judge. Only God can judge. And someday, maybe these three people will receive their karma. Maybe they already have and I just don’t recognize it. Maybe they don’t recognize it.

Forgiveness is more for me than for them. I mean, they could really care less if I forgive them or not. They’re still living their lives without my forgiveness. I doubt I’m given much thought by them. And the truth is, I’m really not angry, but more so disappointed. Or, maybe I really don’t have any feelings for them at all, making it easier to forgive.

I do consider myself to be a very forgiving person. People may hurt me, but I always come back. Sometimes it takes awhile, but I do come back.

As far as my mother and my youngest sister. I have no feelings towards them at all anymore. Oh, I’ve forgiven them, but that doesn’t mean I want them in my life. I’ve pretty much disowned them. And I’m not angry about it. I just choose to stay away from people whom are toxic. That weird situation they’ve got going on, I want no part of it. I just pray God opens their eyes to their dysfunction.

The other person I am having a hard time forgiving is the man that introduced me to meth. He played me like a fiddle. But I am still forgiving him and moving on. I just don’t need to have him participating in my life anymore, in any form. And I don’t need to talk to him to forgive him. Not forgiving is only hurting me.

At least once a day I come across triple digits on my phone. I never used to notice this until it started appearing fairly regularly.

4:44 has a spiritual message from the angelic realm letting you know that you are on the right path and are being supported by your angels. And that you need to focus on building a solid foundation in your life. You have the angels full support.

Dear God, I pray for peace. Peace for everybody in the world. Peace for my family. Peace for my friends. Peace for my family. Peace for my enemies. And peace for myself. In your might name I pray. Amen.

On one last note: My job. My job is going fairly well. I find it so ironic that the client I am now working with I’ve actually met before. It was when I was dating someone whom lives kiddy corner from her. Anyway, I was on my way to see him when I ran across her at the end of her driveway on the ground. She had tipped her scooter over and cracked her head. I stopped, called an ambulance and stayed with her until help came.

I learned she needed a PCA through a friend who was working with her but had to resign. She gave her my name and number, so she called me. And that’s how I started with her. And no, I’m no longer dating the man kiddy corner from her.

Last note: My sleep is still quite disturbed. I’ve been waking up at midnight/2 o’clock pretty regularly these days. But I still make it to work. Well, except I had to miss a few days because I had Covid. Yes, that bug is still floating around.