Trauma Healing

I normally have trouble sleeping, but this past week has been the worst. I wake up about 1am from nightmares and am unable to fall back to sleep.

I am now convinced that everything that happened to me during the incident was real. I’ve spoken to some of my friends and was given more details about what was happening on their phones during the incident. Now I know it was all real. God must’ve thought I wasn’t ready to hear the truth before now.

I also asked ChatGPT if chrome cast can get hacked into and she said it sure can. She explained how and what the hacker (or prankster) can do once they’ve hacked into it. They can stream YouTube videos, tarot was especially mentioned. Of course ChatGPT said it would be done as a prank. Some prank.

So, what do I do with this new information? Nothing. There’s nothing I can do about it, it was too long ago. But, at least now I know I wasn’t crazy. I knew the truth back then, and I know the truth now. That man really did me dirty. The whole time I was blaming the wrong person.

I don’t think I will ever forgive him. I feel his apology was half ass. He wouldn’t tell me specifically what he did. But now I know. He did everything. That’s what he admitted to. Everything.

If this person would have communicated his feelings to me things may be different right now. He never asked me to be his girlfriend. We were both on meth. Everybody knows meth Ramps up your sex drive. For all I knew he was messing around with somebody all those times I couldn’t get ahold of him. I had no idea what was going on between us. But he told me he loved me all the time. The whole time this garbage was going on. But he was never available when I needed him.

I do believe this is a new start for me. I feel …. Settled. I still wish people would believe me, but in the long run it really doesn’t matter. I know the truth, and I still have my daydreams.

Now that I know the truth I feel like I can actually complete a book on it. Because now I have an ending.