Trauma Healing

Personal Experience Healing from Trauma

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Healing from trauma is a lifetime of work and dedication. Hi, my name is Cindy. I have started this blog to be more like a diary. I share my thoughts and experiences and joys so that I may touch just one heart out there. I won’t claim to know it all, as I am not a doctor. But what this is will be my own experience of trauma and recovery. And maybe a friend whom can share their wisdom as well. We are all walking this same journey in life. But all of our paths are different. I believe in oneness. I believe we are connected. Trauma doesn’t have to be huge to be trauma. Just being born can be a traumatic experience. Let’s talk about this and see where it goes.

Triggers

Cyng: Quotes Creator

I used to be easily triggered by people, but not so much anymore. First of all, I avoid anything or anyone that I feel is going to be a trigger. I know that’s not the best answer to the problem, but it’s the best answer I have right now. I know a time is going to come when I have to face these triggers. And I’ve decided it may take a year, as I work my way through DBT first. I tried doing EMDR, with two (2) different therapists, but I learned I wasn’t ready to work on that. I wasn’t, or am not at this point, ready to deal with these salty memories.

I’ve tried several relationships, several friendships, and even just dealing with my own family (outside of my immediate family I’m living with). Nothing good has come out of any of these trials. They all bring about immediate stress for me. Nobody I’ve tried to deal with has worked on their own trauma, so everything I try to say to them or talk to them about feels like I’m scratching my finger nails on a chalkboard. Nobody wants to hear, learn or grow. I guess it is what it is.

I get easily triggered in relationships. And when I get triggered I run. As is the case with just friendships. As is the case with family.

Triggers come in many forms. Words, smells, emotions, etc. I am not completely healed of triggers. They even pop up in my dreams.

How to explain a trigger can be difficult. And definitely difficult for the other person who has no clue what you’ve been through. This is probably the most frustrating part for me. Because people can do or say things that are triggering, and they don’t even realize it. Or I get triggered and don’t even realize that’s what’s going on myself. I just know I’ve gotta run. Certain phrases trigger me. Certain smells trigger me. As well, certain sounds can trigger me.

I have a terrible problem with isolating. This has more to do with being triggered out in the public. So I prefer to stay close to home, in my room. I get anxious when I know I’m going to be away from home for a night. Dealing with people can be exhausting, because I am so easily triggered. It’s overwhelming sometimes. I definitely need more help in this area. But so far, avoidance is the best option right now.

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2 responses to “Triggers”

  1. Laury Ilene Pfeffer Avatar
    Laury Ilene Pfeffer

    Thank you Cindy for sharing about trauma triggers. Can you share more details about sensory things you struggle with?

    The scariest triggers for me are when I feel unaware that I’m not alright with what happened. It’s like a delayed reaction. Hours or days later I realize, yeah, I’m not alright with something or someone.

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    1. Cynthia Gust Avatar
      Cynthia Gust

      Sensory triggers can be just about anything that reminds you of the trauma. A certain smell, a certain touch towards you. For a long time I cringed when men would touch me a certain way. And honestly, sometimes I still do. I believe that’s the biggest setback for me in relationships. That’s why I choose not to be in one right now.

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